Telephones

Welcome to the 21st century, people. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but regular ol' telephones are a wave of the past... in fact, cell phones don't make anysense at all anymore either. Unless your phone is able to talk to your parents on speaker phone while simultaneously letting you play a game of galactic conquest and receive a killer blowjob remotely from your text message server, its not a phone. Not anymore.

iPhones are the only phone. Blackberry's have to come up with horrible names like "Storm" and "Monsoon" and "Deadly Japanese Tidal Wave" in order to sell their shitty hardware... and google phones smell like hippies and mid-california. Just gross. iPhones allow gentlemen like me to purchase every single app I ever wanted, let me use the word "app" in normal conversation, and let me think about how awesome and un-douchey Steve Jobs is.

So if you have a blackberry, shit on it before you return it and get with the 21st century.

Peace.